Life of a Sue Slayer
by hmikulak
Summary: In Feudal Japan, there exist such things more terrible than the cruelest youkai. They are known as Mary-Sues, and it takes an elite team to take them down. Fortunately for us, Stephanie, Ana, and Hans form the most elite team there is. Mary-Sue bashing fic. Don't like, don't read. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters. Rated T for later content.


**Ok, this is my first story in a while, so I might not be as good as some other writers on this site. (Who am I kidding? I'm nowhere NEAR as good as most of the writers on this site!) Anywho, sit back, relax, and enjoy some Sue Slayers in action!**

* * *

Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg slowly stood up from the forest floor. She dramatically brushed her long, striped green-and-blue hair out of her vivid purple eyes and put her hand on her forehead in confusion. Her perfect, ruby lips gaped in confusion as she looked at her new surroundings. The sun was high in the sky, the light bouncing off her perfectly tanned skin as Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg observed the clearing she had landed in.

"Why, I think I'm in Feudal Japan," she mused.

"Indeed, you are," a high-pitched voice said behind her.

Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg whirled around to see a girl even stranger than herself leaning against a tree. The new girl had an awkward farmer's tan exaggerated by her brown tank top and shorts. Her eyes were a deep brown, her dark hair was up in two simple, messy pigtails, and she couldn't have been more than five years old. The mysterious new girl also carried two small scythes, one engraved with the name _Seferen _and the other with _Sya._

"Who are you?" Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg asked.

The mysterious girl grinned. "I am Stephanie Rich, of the Anti-Perfect society. We destroy Perfects, such as yourself, that warp the ways of the dimension and create chaos. You can call me a Sue Slayer."

Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg gasped. "You're one of them! One of those _things _that invades someone's story and kills off their main character!"

Stephanie sighed. "No, we actually restore bala-"

"Don't come near me! I'm warning you!" Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg screamed, her violet eyes turning red for a split second.

"I'm sorry, Mayeylla," Stephanie apologized, "but this has to be done."

Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg's beautiful purple eyes flicked left and right, and she suddenly realized that no one was coming to help her. She narrowed her eyes and grinned. "Fine, if you want a fight, it's a fight you'll get."

With alarming suddenness, Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg lunged forward, attempting to scratch Stephanie with her claw-like nails. Stephanie leapt backwards, just barely avoiding being cut apart, then lunged to her opponent's side and swung both her scythes down. Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg dodged the attack, surprised at the child's fighting ability, and threw her fist at Stephanie, sending her flying backwards into a tree. Stephanie hit her head and crumpled to the ground.

"I warned you," Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg cackled, her skin beginning to glow. In just seconds, she had undergone a terrible transformation. Her skin became a sickly green color; her eyes were red and bloodshot; her hands became gnarled and clawed; and her voice became higher and sounded like nails dragging across a chalkboard.

"Now prepare to die!" she screeched, swiping her claws at the unconcious Stephanie's throat. However, to Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg's surprise, Stephanie was not as unconscious as she had hoped. Rollong out of the way and kicking out as hard as she could, Stephanie knocked Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg's kneecap out of alignment and jammed her heel into her stomach.

Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg collapsed onto the groung in a fit of pain, wincing as pink blood trailed from her knee. She opened her eyes a crack and saw Stephanie standing over her, holding her scythes crossed over her throat. Before Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg could scream, her head was sliced off, and she knew no more.

* * *

Stephanie wiped the pink blood off of _Seferen_ and _Sya, _then fastened them to her belt loop. Removing a small flask from her pocket, she sat on the ground next to Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg and waited.

Seconds later, a black vapor began to flow from her dead opponent's body. As Stephanie collected the vapor in the flask, the corpse began to change. It transformed from the monster back to the specimen she had first seen in the forest, then began to warp some more. Vibrant hair darkened and shortened until it was chocolate colored and ended at the neck, violet eyes dulled and became brown as well, the tan turned into a sunburn, and small traces of acne began to form on the forehead. The last of the black vapor flowed into the flask and Stephanie corked it, then replaced it into her pocket.

"You performed well," a woman's voice said from behind Stephanie.

"I almost couldn't kill her." Stephanie stood up and turned around to see her teacher, Ana, leaning on her spear _Faienu. _Ana looked about 20, with green eyes and light brown hair in a bun. She had on a green tunic and brown leggings with a belt and pouch on her waist.

"But you did, and that's what counts," Ana assured Stephanie.

"I keep remembering that they're real people, but warped by the Black Smoke." Stephanie argued.

Ana put her hand on Stephanie's shoulder. "Yes, but the second the Smoke enters them, they are no longer human. You must remember that."

"Teacher," Stephanie asked, "is there a way to remove the black smoke from a Perfect without killing them? So they can become human and live on?"

Ana's eyes darkened. "It has been tried, but it had never worked. It only warps the Perfect further," she explained. "Now come; you wanted to meet the characters?"

"Yay!" Stephanie exclaimed, grinning, but then her face became downcast. "Will we have to hunt more Perfects?"

"Of course," Ana answered. "These popular fandoms are always buzzing with Perfects, and it is our job to make sure they harm no one important. Let's go." Ana turned and disappeared into the trees.

"Yes, Teacher," Stephanie said, and followed.

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**Hoooooly crud, writing Mayeylla Eileen Jespreet Goldberg made me want to retch. God, that was painful.**

**Well? Did you like it? I'm trying to make Stephanie and Ana as anti-Sueish as possible, but I don't think I quite covered it... What do you think? Should I continue?**

**~hmikulak**


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